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Pizza Queen’s Cheesy Horoscopes: September 2018
By Nicki Yowell, the Pizza Queen

Virgo (August 23 to September 22)

Buon compleanno, Virgo! Congrats on making it another spin around the pizza peel of life. Your methodical, measured manner is as on point as a baker’s scale but make sure to temper your logic with a fine dash of passion this month. A New Moon will come around on the 9th making for inspired moments. With all this fire and potential, don’t sit this one out. Strike while the brick oven is hot!

Libra (September 23 to October 22)

The perennial sprawling pizza buffet, you are the ultimate “something for everyone,” special, Libra. But just because pepperoni is America’s favorite topping doesn’t mean that you can’t go anchovy every once in a while. In particular, think about changing things up location-wise. Perhaps some food feng shui is in order to make that old favorite dish fresh and spectacular.

Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)

Expect upheaval and discord in your family and domestic sphere this month, Scorpio. But if the “Famous Original Ray’s” of New York City squabble teaches us anything, it’s when to fight on your own and when to join forces. The full moon on the 24th could bring resolve and much-needed clarity that could get la famiglia back around the table by month’s end.

Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)

The Archer is all about action, the true runner in the kitchen of life. This month you’ll be delivering quicker than Domino’s in the late ‘80s thanks to the 9th’s New Moon occurring in your work sector. Ever the wily Sag, you know how to make the most of your crust connections. The Sun moves into your house of friendship on the 22nd making it a great time for both fun and networking. Che bello!

Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)

Questions, questions, questions abound this month… Thin crust or thick? Fresh or shredded? Delivery or takeout? Cash or credit? If anyone can handle inquiry with grace and determination it’s you, Capricorn. You approach life horns first.
Fear not, the yeast will rise and magic will happen once the flour and uncertainty shake out!

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)

Like water through rivers and sauce through ladles, Aquarians are known to handle the flow. But with Saturn going direct this month on the 6th, you’ll want to step back from the fray and unwind and, just maybe, enjoy the finer things in life. Go ahead, splurge on that Ligurian oven, bake up some pies, and let the world slip away. Artisan chevre anyone?

Pisces (February 19 to March 20)

Revelations come this month for you, dear Piscean, when Mars moves into your sign on the 10th of the month. This might upend things a bit for your normally chill vibe. But remember, short term unexpected changes, much like cheese forming in a nomad’s forgotten vat of milk, could bring inspired results.

Aries (March 21 to April 19)

Like a pizzaiolo without his prized peel, lately you’ve been off your flow with Mercury dragging its feet in your house of creativity. But take heed mid-month when the Sun and Mars get passionate in realms of ambition, motivation and work. This might be a good opportunity to cook up that arrabiatta sauce as you’ll really be feeling that signature Aries fire. Sizzle, sizzle!

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)

Chat it up this month, bull! Your ruling Sun sign, the coy and saucy Venus, will be making a nice duo with Saturn in your third house, bringing communication and work to the fore. Scrawl up a new signature menu item or schmooze and stir the pot with the rival shop owner. Your words will be as smooth as creamy béchamel so get to spittin’!

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)

You’re a little bit of everything, anyways Gemini, the archetypal “half and half” pie order. Lately you may have you feeling all the more scattered and muddled. On the 9th of the month Venus moves into your house of work, getting all existential and making for career breakthroughs or breakdowns. Whether the mixing bowl is half empty or half full is up to you, Twin.

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)

Many food fans hem and haw about the legendary “what is pizza” question. Pizza bagels? Sushi pizza? Dessert pizza? Chicago deep dish? With the 9th’s New Moon in your house of communication, Cancer, similar questions, and the need to disseminate their answers, come to the fore. On the 10th, these quandaries can be made into action, the figurative flame to your furnace, with help from Mars. From then on, it’ll be time to cook something up, whether it’s “real pizza” or not!

Leo (July 23 to August 22)

Leo, you’re proud and capable, fit to flit the dough with the best of them, even Anthony Mangieri. But this month, you may be feeling a bit more defensive than normal thanks to Mars making the rounds on the 10th. But keep calm. After all, with issues as contentious as picking a side on the pineapple as topping debate, there are more important things to worry about.


Nicki Yowell is the self-proclaimed Pizza Queen of Portland and domains beyond. She produces, writes, and edits 'Za the Pizza Zine, a pizza lifestyle publication in its sixth installment. Nicki also is the mastermind behind Pizzas of the USA, a panel and presentation all about regional pizza featuring Portland's sauciest pizzamakers. When she isn't writing about or noshing on slices she also moonlights as a writer for several food and drink publications including Sip NW and many others.

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